TO DO: Spa Day Reward

I kinda suck at the whole “take care of yourself” thing. I don’t take care of my skin, my hair, my nails. I’ve told you before about my haircuts and how terrible I am with that. In my entire life, even through a six-week modeling course, I have never once plucked a single hair on my body. It’s all just kinda foreign to me.

But lately, I’ve been desperately craving a spa day.

I want to lounge in a seat while someone expertly paints my toenails. I want to get my eyebrows shaped and have a nice refreshing facial. I want to get my hair did and done. In a perfect world, I’d get a relaxing massage too!

And I have begun putting the gears in motion.

I told The Boyfriend that I will make all the doctors, dentists, optometrist appointments if and only if, he makes me a spa day appointment. It’s a task that I need to get done but for some reason cannot make myself do it. Firstly, I am deathly afraid of dentists. The idea of any of us having to go see a dentist, scares the crap out of me. The rest, I’m not sure why it seems like such a chore for me, but it’s been on my to-do list for years and I just keep making excuses.

Maybe if I have a reward to look forward to at the end of it (other than knowing we’re all somewhat healthy), it won’t be so hard for me to do it!

The Boyfriend liked the idea a lot. He liked it mainly for the idea of me treating myself to something. He always gets a kick out of treating me like a princess, although never thinks to do it himself – I think mainly because he’s afraid I’ll reject it.

So now, he has to:

  • Find a spa
  • Book me a…
    • Mani/Pedi
    • Eyebrow Threading (because I’ve always wanted to try it! Especially over waxing)
    • Facial
    • Haircut

And then I have to:

  • Find out how each of the kids are covered under their Dad’s healthcare – the older three with Alfie and Carter with The Boyfriend
  • Call our doctor who we haven’t seen in about four years
  • Find a dentist for the whole family and book first appointments
  • Find an optomotrist for the whole family and book appointments

Geez, just writing that out makes my palms sweaty. So much work but it’s gotta get done and at least I’ll get a spa day out of the deal 😉

Advertisements

TO WRITE: A Collection of My Years of Blogging

I’ve had this idea of late. I’ve been blogging on and off since I was about 14. I’m 28 now, so you figure, that’s about 14 years of blogging – almost half my life! I say almost and about because I have always tended to take extended breaks from blogging.

And there’s a lot of content. Lots and lots of content.

And right now, it’s strewn all over the internet.

I think it could be interesting to collect some of my best pieces, snippets and quotes from over the years, from all the different blogs, and gather it and put it into a nice organized eBook, maybe with some commentary from my present perspective or something similar. It could also add some of my favorite posts from places like Twitter and Facebook and be a sort of collection of my last 14 or so years on the interwebs…

It’s a very rough idea, as you can tell, but it’s swarming around in my brain like a flock of locusts.

Anyone have any experience doing this? Any words of advice?

 

PROGRESS REPORT

PROGRESS REPORT #1

For the first time ever, I am proud to say, I get to do a progress update post on My Bucket List!!! Aren’t you excited?!? I’ve never gotten to do one of these before, but I figure I probably should.

So, what is a progress report?

Well simply put, it’s an update on any progress whatsoever that I’ve made on any of the items on My Bucket List, My Fucket List, In a Perfect World… or When I Grow Up… lists.

Let’s get down to it, shall we?

  1. TO GET: A Sex Toy… Any Sex Toy

    Back in August 2014, The Boyfriend and I were constantly talking about getting a sex toy. We said it would be by my birthday. That was in November. Finally, now March of the next year and for The Boyfriend’s birthday no less, we are finally getting a sex toy.

    It should be here by the end of the week and we’ll see what I end up thinking of it. It’s a G-spot vibrator, and I have yet to find my G-spot – so maybe by the end of next week sometime, we’ll have another progress update 😉

  2. TO GET: Rope and a Rope Tote

    It’s not a complete checked-off-the-list, because this one had a bunch of things to do in it. However, I took the first initial step, I took the plunge. I’ve been saying I was going to do it for years and after a long period of humming and hawing, I finally bought my first length of rope.

    It’s just one tiny step. There’s still the learning and the practicing and the rope tote and then the consenting adult to tie and all that jazz, but the first step!!

  3. TO GET: Lingerie… Lots of Lingerie

    Again, another not-complete-check-off-the-list, but progress. I’m not even sure I’ll like it or ever wear it or anything really. It was a spur of the moment, absolute impulse buy. It was right in the price range I was willing to spend, it was in what should be my size, but I’m not putting any big hopes into these two articles of clothing (barely).

    But again, a step. Tiny, it may be. Anything less to celebrate, it is not!

  4. TO DO: Get Back to Twitter

    It was my first official resolution of 2015 and while there have been many since, this is the only one that is seeing success. I even managed, after six years of trying, to get The Boyfriend on Twitter this year!

    I’m basically calling this one done!

  5. TO DO: Knit & Sew

    Not a complete check off the list, not even close. However, I did finally buy myself knitting needles and again, a sale resulted in yarn. So, I’ve started knitting. I’ve decided, I’m going to work towards a blanket. You can follow that project on my Instagram.

So, that’s five less things that I have to do and I haven’t even finished adding all my wants, desires, dreams and aspirations to the list! Now to try to wait patiently for my toy, rope, one other thing and lingerie to get here. Maybe I’ll knit 😉

TO GET: A Guitar

It’s been a really long time since I last owned a guitar.

I got my first guitar when I was about 13. It was actually a present for my brother but he wasn’t interested in learning electric guitar and I was, so I kinda perma-borrowed his guitar. I learnt most of my guitar knowledge from my punk rock boyfriend who was taking guitar lessons during our time together.

Back then, I mostly stuck with electric guitars. I liked to play things with power chords and my playlist consisted of things like AFI’s “Morningstar” or Rancid’s “Who Would’ve Thought” or Against Me’s “Baby, I’m an Anarchist” and then a bunch of really dark and depressing “poems”. I basically stayed playing this way through all of my first relationship and most of my second.

Then my Dad started coming around and bringing acoustic guitars. I really like the way acoustic guitars sound and the fact that you don’t need to have an amp to really sound great. I decided that I liked acoustic over electric far better and have hardly touched an electric-only ever since.

When Alfie and I broke up (that’s the second relationship, by the way) and The Boyfriend and I got together, I had an acoustic guitar. Neither The Boyfriend or I can remember whatever happened to that guitar, but for my birthday the first year we were together, he decided to get me a guitar.

I called her My Muse. I couldn’t tell you a thing about what brand she was or what she was made out of or anything like that – except that she was an electric/acoustic with a built in tuner, but her sound was just so good to me. I wrote songs for the first time in five years with her and to me that was a pretty big deal. And she was just so lovely. I seriously miss this guitar so much that sometimes when I think of her, I honestly get emotional.

She didn’t last long at all. All the kids were right at this age where destroying everything was just about the most fun ever. Even though she had a good sturdy gig case and even though we tried really hard, one night, the kids ended up crushing her. I was seriously so upset about it…

I did end up having one more guitar after this. I don’t remember what happened to this one either except that one day I had it and the next day I didn’t. After that, I decided that I had gone through too many guitars, I needed to take a break from guitars. Especially when there were so many other instruments out there that I want to learn to play.

I’ve been stuck trying to learn piano/keyboards now for a good four years. Let me just say, I’m a thousand percent better at guitar. And now that my kids are older and less likely to break a precious gem of mine, I want a guitar.

It will definitely be an acoustic. I like the built-in tuners a lot – while I tune by ear, I like to get that E string as accurate as possible to go off of – so, it will definitely have one of those. I’d really like to find something that has a clear, crisp sound that just vibrates down my spine the way My Muse did. And I’ve always really wanted designs on my fretboard instead of just the regular old dots.

Ugh… Now I’m dreaming of guitars… Thanks list *shakes fist*!

TO BE: Polyamorous

Just an FYI to start – I absolutely hate the way the title looks and would prefer it to say something else, but I’m attempting to follow a format – so bear with it!

******

Growing up as a kid, I never knew that there was any other relationship dynamics than together with your husband or separated/divorced from your husband. I heard of the gay people who lived in the United States and I knew that some women and men chose perpetual singledom. However, I did not know anything other than this was even possible.

I always assumed that it was just the natural progression of things. You grow up, you get a husband so that you can have babies, and then you either live happily ever after or get divorced and repeat… I never felt like this was what I wanted, but I did really want babies – so I must need a husband, was kind of my thinking.

I remember doing a school project in Grade 2 or something. My Mom loves to tell this story when it comes to the amount of kids I have. We had to cut pictures out of magazines and make almost like a vision board for our future. I cut out 26 kids in total… 26! The very last thing I cut out, because it was the very last thing on my mind, was a husband…

At 14 – you can totally tell this was like the age of my sexual awakening – two things happened. My sister had her first girl-on-girl experience and suffered massive backlash from this (more from an internal standpoint) and the show KINK became Friday’s indulgence. I know I’ve said it before, but thank goodness for Friday Night Without Borders!!

My eyes were opened to the endless possibilities of relationship dynamics. You mean, a girl doesn’t have to marry a boy? And boys can be with other boys? And you can have intimately, deeply connected relationships with people without any sex? And normal everyday people do it? My mind was blown!! Sometimes, it still is.

In my personal life, I have never been fully satisfied by the dynamics of my relationships. Probably because I am always wanting to push the boundaries and I tend to pick guys who like to stay safely within the lines. Without really meaning to, or every consciously making the decision, I’ve spent the majority of my adult life in monogamous relationships.

My first boyfriend, 2 1/2 years, totally monogamous, age 14 – 16. Alfie, 5 – 6 years, mostly monogamous, age 16 – 21 (see TO HAVE: A FFM Threesome). The Boyfriend, 6 years, monogamous, age 21 – present. Each of those had about eight months, give or take, between them…

But I wouldn’t say that monogamy has been my choice. With Alfie, I loved to have M/F/M threesomes and did so rather frequently. At the beginning of our relationship, we had an agreement that he was the only one who could penetrate me vaginally. By the end, that rule had gone and on more than one occasion he left while another guy and I carried on. I technically cheated on The Boyfriend with Alfie for the first couple months of our relationship.

From my first exposure to it and ever since, I have had a fascination with polyamory. I read about it a lot and when I consider it in terms of consensual, open, honest relationships with more than one person, I can’t help but be completely swept up by the idea of it. It sounds like a blissful experience and one that I want to have.

I don’t want to just fly by the seat of my pants with it and just start sleeping with random people and open up my life to drama, jealousy, and unnecessary risks. But I often fantasize about adding additional partners to my relationship.

With Alfie, I hated the idea of him going off and having sex with another person. The threat of him leaving me was always present without any competition, I was too insecure, there were lots of reasons and he did absolutely nothing to settle those fears. If anything, he did things to heighten them and extend them.

With The Boyfriend, I don’t feel immediate rage when I consider him having sex with another person. I feel entirely secure and comfortable in this relationship. Albeit, I’d want to be allowed to have a say in some boundaries and I’d like to be included in a budding relationship and the fantasy only stays hot when those boundaries are in place, but for the most part, I’m incredibly open to the concept of it. When I say this to him, he always says “But I don’t want anyone but you…”. He is a serious monogamist!

If I could though, I think I would choose to be polyamorous.

TO DO: Get My Hair Did!

I don’t often do much with my hair…

In the past, I’ve had all sorts of interesting hair. I went from long, straight, blah hair to a short bob to a mohawk that landed me in the local newspaper. Then I shaved that off, grew it out, shaved off what grew and then got long layers that bored me to death.

What I have now is a good four years of not getting it cut and just doing the odd color here and there. Here’s a basic look at the hair:

That's Me!

That’s Me!

It reaches down to the top of my hips and a good six inches of it is just dead hair. Currently, it’s dyed a kind of purplish red. I only recently started dying my hair and I generally stick with browns and reddish colors, although honestly, it’s not doing much in the way of changing a lick of anything. This last dye-job, The Boyfriend’s response was, “You can hardly tell”. I have a lot of gray hair interspersed everywhere too, although I can’t say I hate that. I hope to gray gracefully, just like my Mom.

I only know how to do about three things where my hair is concerned. I can do a simple braid, I can put it in a pony tail and I’m relatively decent with gel. Outside of that, I seriously suck. Curls don’t stay in my hair because it’s too thin, it’s unbearably straight and holds styles for very short periods of time and it’s seriously stubborn.

I’ve wanted to go and get it cut for a really long time now, although I can honestly say I’m a little scared to. I’ve had my hair this long for a long time, it feels like it’s going to be a huge change to do anything with it. Plus, I have no idea what I’ll look like with shorter hair now, because the last time I had short hair, was when I was still skinny, pre-Carter.

I often go into hairdressers and give them a basic length limitation and say that I need something relatively low-maintenance because I’m a hair idiot, but otherwise surprise me. This has always resulted in long layers. Well, I am just plain done with the long layers!

I keep thinking that I want to go dramatically short. I loved when I had short hair. It was the most attention I ever paid to my hair. And I think a lot of people would agree that it totally suits my personality. I’ve been thinking either something like Kaley Cuoco’s new haircut

Kaley Cuoco

Kaley Cuoco

or maybe something like Ginnifer Goodwin’s for short styles.

Ginnifer Goodwin

Ginnifer Goodwin

The last time I went from long hair to really short hair, I cried. I don’t know why and I don’t want to repeat the experience. So, I often think that maybe starting small and just going a couple inches at a time is smarter, but then I also know me. Chances are I’d just get comfortable with the length for another 4 years and we’d be right back where we started… Here.

I used to be able to take risks with my appearance and now, I’m just so stuck in a rut, and I’m done! Any thoughts?

TO DO: #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters

As the creator of The Erotic Writers Group, I’m often coming up with challenges and prompts for our group’s #DailyChallenge over on Challenge Central, where you can get #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters every single day.

Since I’m coming up with them, I think it’s only appropriate that I participate every once and awhile. How can I expect others to, if I don’t?

Over time, I have participated in a few of the challenges. My first one was a 250 word #WordcountWednesday submission. Most recently, I submitted a sex song called Deeper Into Me for #SaturdaySerenade. Every once and awhile, I will submit some stuff and add it on My Writing & Erotica blog.

However, I’m sorely behind. We have just come back after quite a long hiatus and in the 3 weeks we’ve been doing the challenges, I’ve only submitted 2 or 3 pieces. Simply not good enough. So, I figured I’d create a list of all the challenges that I want to do and then challenge myself to start checking them off my list. Chances are, I’ll get none in by the submission deadline, although hooray for me if I do.

#SumItUpSundays

#SumItUpSundays

#SumItUpSundays

#MondaysMuse

#MondaysMuse

#MondaysMuse

#WordcountWednesday

#WordcountWednesday

#WordcountWednesday

#ThursdayThoughts

#ThursdayThoughts

#ThursdayThoughts

#FetishFridays

#FetishFridays

#FetishFridays

#SaturdaySerenade

#SaturdaySerenade

#SaturdaySerenade

#WritingPrompts to Use

Back in early summer of 2014, we used to add #WritingPrompts for #EroticWriters every week, five at a time. Starting this new year, we’ve been adding one a day. I decided to start collecting all the ones that I’m really interested in writing about.

I plan to continually update this list as new challenges and prompts come out and as I make submissions. It’s part of my #EroticWriters Resolutions to get going on this, so fingers crossed and all. I’ll update on Twitter when I make any changes to this list, so be sure to follow me there.

And if you’d like to learn more about these challenges, please don’t hesitate to check out Challenge Central. It’s easy to participate and you can get all the information you need there. Hope to see you there!

TO DO: #EroticWriters & #EroticReaders Resolutions 2015

Recently on The Erotic Writers Group blog, a couple of posts were published about setting resolutions as an erotic writer and an erotic reader and there was also a challenge for #EroticWriters resolutions. Today, I thought I’d take a minute to reflect on some of my writing goals for 2015.

#EroticReaders Resolutions

  1. Read 25 Books in 2015

    I’m participating in Goodreads’ yearly reading challenge. Last year, I think I put 50 books at first and then after starting my massive Sherlock Holmes, abandoned the challenge. This year, I’ve selected a more manageable number and have also started adding eBooks that I read (because I forgot you could do this on Goodreads).

  2. Write Reviews

    I’m not sure exactly how I want to go about doing this. I find that I’m often more critical of my review of things than I am of my own fictional or non-fictional writing. I struggle with giving criticisms of any kind as well, so that makes it difficult too. I mainly would really like to start publishing reviews on my Goodreads account and then venture elsewhere.

  3. Read Some Classic Erotica

    This is just kind of an ongoing role. I’ve been reading approximately one piece of classic erotica every year for the past few. Sadopaedia by Anonymous is my absolute favorite and I’ve read it about 30 times. Every couple of months I go back to it and flip through the pages. I am working on a list of book’s that I’d like to read in this genre including The Story of O and The Whippingham Papers (I’ll add it when it’s done).

  4. Join a Book Club

    Whether it’s finally getting down to making the book club I’ve always desired to make or just joining one of the many thousands of book clubs on Goodreads, I really want to try this out at some point this year. I figure that I won’t even consider it at the moment because I’m too busy elsewhere, but maybe in the summer or during back-to-school I’ll dedicate myself to it.

  5. Read More Poetry

    I tend to stick to non-fiction a lot when I’m choosing what to read. And I don’t spend nearly enough time seeking out new and interesting things to read. I’ve always wanted to spend some time reading poetry. I’ve purchased a variety of different books of poetry and save it to read all over the place, but I never really hunker down and do it. Poetry takes up a lot more mental capacity for me than other forms of reading, so I rarely dedicate myself to it. I’d like to change that.

  6. Actually Read Erotica

    Yes, I read publications from 100 years ago, but I rarely ever explore modern day erotica. Often times, I don’t know what I want to read, so I don’t know where I want to look, and I just don’t spend much time on it. But I run a community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders, it’s only right that I take a few moments to actually read what they’re doing!

#EroticWriters Resolutions

  1. Regularly Post to my Writers Blog

    I made my first post to my writing blog back in July 2014 and really enjoyed participating in The Erotic Writers Group #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters. Ideally, I would be posting once a day or maybe even twice a day, one submission post and then one unrelated post. Currently, I’m nowhere near that! The goal for now is to at least post twice a week.

  2.  Complete a First Draft of The Brighton Tales

    This goal is taking me so much longer than it should. To be honest, I haven’t even looked at it since the last post I did about wanting to complete this story. At the very least, if I do nothing else on this list but this, I want to complete the first draft of The Brighton Tales. Mark my words!

  3. Participate in #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters

    I’d like to participate in every single one of them, but I know how hard I find that, especially when I’m the creator of the challenges. Sometimes it just won’t work. So I’d like to commit to doing at least one writing prompt every session and it would be fantastic if I could do every single #ThursdayThoughts and one other challenge throughout the week.

That’s all I can think of for the moment, although I’m sure that I’ll come up with more as the days go on. What are some of your resolutions this year? Be sure to stay tuned to see my progress 😉

TO DO: Knit & Sew

UPDATES

One thing that I’ve always wanted to do is make my own clothing. First, I just wanted to knit sweaters and vests, because I thought it was the coolest thing ever. My Grandma always knitted things like washcloths and towels and she was able to slam out hundreds of these things in a day. It was mesmerizing. But as an 11-year-old, I wanted sweaters and vests.

I learnt how to knit, just the basics. Enough that I’ve managed to make a bunch of headband-like devices (although I’m sure they could be used otherwise). Then, when I got pregnant with Carter, I started experiencing intense joint pain in my hands and basically gave up on knitting. I’ve never learnt how to do anything but the basic knit stich and I’ve never followed a pattern, so still no closer to that sweater or vest.

When I was about 14, I took a sewing class in school as an elective. I made a comfy pair of pajama pants and a beautiful medieval-inspired dress. I also made about a billion pillows! I absolutely loved sewing and if we hadn’t gotten rid of our sewing machine shortly after I learnt to sew, I probably would’ve kept on sewing like crazy.

It never occured to me, during all this time, to ever pick up hand sewing. Not until last night anyways, and then now it’s all I seem to be able to think about. All the things I could’ve been sewing all these years. You don’t need a machine to sew!

So now, I desperately want to get knitting needles, yarn, fabric, thread and sewing needles (plus, something to keep all those things organized in…), so that I can start learning how to do that – hand sew and make knitted sweaters and such. What I need to do is pick a “goal piece”, something to aspire to making specifically. Then, work towards learning what I need to know to be able to do it.

For example, I don’t know how to do any other hand sewing stitch than one that you use to close up the end of a pillow after you’ve stuffed it. And that was years and years ago that I last did that. So, for hand sewing, I need to get really good at perfecting certain types of stitches for my goal project.

It’s official, it’s a goal to get me some hand sewing materials.