TO DO: Spa Day Reward

I kinda suck at the whole “take care of yourself” thing. I don’t take care of my skin, my hair, my nails. I’ve told you before about my haircuts and how terrible I am with that. In my entire life, even through a six-week modeling course, I have never once plucked a single hair on my body. It’s all just kinda foreign to me.

But lately, I’ve been desperately craving a spa day.

I want to lounge in a seat while someone expertly paints my toenails. I want to get my eyebrows shaped and have a nice refreshing facial. I want to get my hair did and done. In a perfect world, I’d get a relaxing massage too!

And I have begun putting the gears in motion.

I told The Boyfriend that I will make all the doctors, dentists, optometrist appointments if and only if, he makes me a spa day appointment. It’s a task that I need to get done but for some reason cannot make myself do it. Firstly, I am deathly afraid of dentists. The idea of any of us having to go see a dentist, scares the crap out of me. The rest, I’m not sure why it seems like such a chore for me, but it’s been on my to-do list for years and I just keep making excuses.

Maybe if I have a reward to look forward to at the end of it (other than knowing we’re all somewhat healthy), it won’t be so hard for me to do it!

The Boyfriend liked the idea a lot. He liked it mainly for the idea of me treating myself to something. He always gets a kick out of treating me like a princess, although never thinks to do it himself – I think mainly because he’s afraid I’ll reject it.

So now, he has to:

  • Find a spa
  • Book me a…
    • Mani/Pedi
    • Eyebrow Threading (because I’ve always wanted to try it! Especially over waxing)
    • Facial
    • Haircut

And then I have to:

  • Find out how each of the kids are covered under their Dad’s healthcare – the older three with Alfie and Carter with The Boyfriend
  • Call our doctor who we haven’t seen in about four years
  • Find a dentist for the whole family and book first appointments
  • Find an optomotrist for the whole family and book appointments

Geez, just writing that out makes my palms sweaty. So much work but it’s gotta get done and at least I’ll get a spa day out of the deal 😉

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TO WRITE: A Collection of My Years of Blogging

I’ve had this idea of late. I’ve been blogging on and off since I was about 14. I’m 28 now, so you figure, that’s about 14 years of blogging – almost half my life! I say almost and about because I have always tended to take extended breaks from blogging.

And there’s a lot of content. Lots and lots of content.

And right now, it’s strewn all over the internet.

I think it could be interesting to collect some of my best pieces, snippets and quotes from over the years, from all the different blogs, and gather it and put it into a nice organized eBook, maybe with some commentary from my present perspective or something similar. It could also add some of my favorite posts from places like Twitter and Facebook and be a sort of collection of my last 14 or so years on the interwebs…

It’s a very rough idea, as you can tell, but it’s swarming around in my brain like a flock of locusts.

Anyone have any experience doing this? Any words of advice?

 

TO GET: A Guitar

It’s been a really long time since I last owned a guitar.

I got my first guitar when I was about 13. It was actually a present for my brother but he wasn’t interested in learning electric guitar and I was, so I kinda perma-borrowed his guitar. I learnt most of my guitar knowledge from my punk rock boyfriend who was taking guitar lessons during our time together.

Back then, I mostly stuck with electric guitars. I liked to play things with power chords and my playlist consisted of things like AFI’s “Morningstar” or Rancid’s “Who Would’ve Thought” or Against Me’s “Baby, I’m an Anarchist” and then a bunch of really dark and depressing “poems”. I basically stayed playing this way through all of my first relationship and most of my second.

Then my Dad started coming around and bringing acoustic guitars. I really like the way acoustic guitars sound and the fact that you don’t need to have an amp to really sound great. I decided that I liked acoustic over electric far better and have hardly touched an electric-only ever since.

When Alfie and I broke up (that’s the second relationship, by the way) and The Boyfriend and I got together, I had an acoustic guitar. Neither The Boyfriend or I can remember whatever happened to that guitar, but for my birthday the first year we were together, he decided to get me a guitar.

I called her My Muse. I couldn’t tell you a thing about what brand she was or what she was made out of or anything like that – except that she was an electric/acoustic with a built in tuner, but her sound was just so good to me. I wrote songs for the first time in five years with her and to me that was a pretty big deal. And she was just so lovely. I seriously miss this guitar so much that sometimes when I think of her, I honestly get emotional.

She didn’t last long at all. All the kids were right at this age where destroying everything was just about the most fun ever. Even though she had a good sturdy gig case and even though we tried really hard, one night, the kids ended up crushing her. I was seriously so upset about it…

I did end up having one more guitar after this. I don’t remember what happened to this one either except that one day I had it and the next day I didn’t. After that, I decided that I had gone through too many guitars, I needed to take a break from guitars. Especially when there were so many other instruments out there that I want to learn to play.

I’ve been stuck trying to learn piano/keyboards now for a good four years. Let me just say, I’m a thousand percent better at guitar. And now that my kids are older and less likely to break a precious gem of mine, I want a guitar.

It will definitely be an acoustic. I like the built-in tuners a lot – while I tune by ear, I like to get that E string as accurate as possible to go off of – so, it will definitely have one of those. I’d really like to find something that has a clear, crisp sound that just vibrates down my spine the way My Muse did. And I’ve always really wanted designs on my fretboard instead of just the regular old dots.

Ugh… Now I’m dreaming of guitars… Thanks list *shakes fist*!

TO DO: Get My Hair Did!

I don’t often do much with my hair…

In the past, I’ve had all sorts of interesting hair. I went from long, straight, blah hair to a short bob to a mohawk that landed me in the local newspaper. Then I shaved that off, grew it out, shaved off what grew and then got long layers that bored me to death.

What I have now is a good four years of not getting it cut and just doing the odd color here and there. Here’s a basic look at the hair:

That's Me!

That’s Me!

It reaches down to the top of my hips and a good six inches of it is just dead hair. Currently, it’s dyed a kind of purplish red. I only recently started dying my hair and I generally stick with browns and reddish colors, although honestly, it’s not doing much in the way of changing a lick of anything. This last dye-job, The Boyfriend’s response was, “You can hardly tell”. I have a lot of gray hair interspersed everywhere too, although I can’t say I hate that. I hope to gray gracefully, just like my Mom.

I only know how to do about three things where my hair is concerned. I can do a simple braid, I can put it in a pony tail and I’m relatively decent with gel. Outside of that, I seriously suck. Curls don’t stay in my hair because it’s too thin, it’s unbearably straight and holds styles for very short periods of time and it’s seriously stubborn.

I’ve wanted to go and get it cut for a really long time now, although I can honestly say I’m a little scared to. I’ve had my hair this long for a long time, it feels like it’s going to be a huge change to do anything with it. Plus, I have no idea what I’ll look like with shorter hair now, because the last time I had short hair, was when I was still skinny, pre-Carter.

I often go into hairdressers and give them a basic length limitation and say that I need something relatively low-maintenance because I’m a hair idiot, but otherwise surprise me. This has always resulted in long layers. Well, I am just plain done with the long layers!

I keep thinking that I want to go dramatically short. I loved when I had short hair. It was the most attention I ever paid to my hair. And I think a lot of people would agree that it totally suits my personality. I’ve been thinking either something like Kaley Cuoco’s new haircut

Kaley Cuoco

Kaley Cuoco

or maybe something like Ginnifer Goodwin’s for short styles.

Ginnifer Goodwin

Ginnifer Goodwin

The last time I went from long hair to really short hair, I cried. I don’t know why and I don’t want to repeat the experience. So, I often think that maybe starting small and just going a couple inches at a time is smarter, but then I also know me. Chances are I’d just get comfortable with the length for another 4 years and we’d be right back where we started… Here.

I used to be able to take risks with my appearance and now, I’m just so stuck in a rut, and I’m done! Any thoughts?

TO DO: Get a Tattoo

I’ve wanted a tattoo, the same tattoo, since I was 13. When I was 13, I was told I couldn’t get it until I could do so without needing a parents permission. When I was 18 and could go get a tattoo, I was pregnant and broke. For the first time, in a really long time, I’m neither broke nor pregnant and I don’t need my parents permission.

However, I have still yet to get my tattoo. This is mostly because of fear (which you can see from previous posts is something I struggle with) but it’s also because now I don’t know what I want first.

My original tattoo, the same one I’ve wanted since I was 13, is a scary first tattoo. First of all, it’s big. Second, it’s on my back, near my kidney-like area. I don’t know if I’ll like tattoo needles or hate them. I keep thinking maybe I should start with something smaller. What I really want is some decorative f-holes like the ones found on a violin, but with my own little flair.

The Boyfriend and I have also always wanted to get matching tattoos representing our kids. Neither of us have ever really thought about a design for that tattoo but we both know that we want something with all the kids first and middle names. I’d like us to get it on the same spot on our bodies, but who knows where.

The Boyfriend already has two tattoos. One on his right bicep and one on his left upper arm.

The Boyfriend's Tattoo

The Boyfriend’s Tattoo

 

The right one is almost like a tribal arm band and the other is a fire-breathing dragon. He also really wants to get another tattoo, either on his back or chest, of an animal and another animal fighting each other (cannot for the life of me remember the two animals and I don’t want to say what I think it is, because I don’t want to be wrong…). At least he knows what to expect…

I always wanted to have a lot of different body modifications and at one point had planned to have my entire body covered in tattoos and about 13 different piercings. Now, I’ve decided against getting anymore piercings, except maybe a couple nipple piercings (although The Boyfriend hates that idea). But tattoos… I know I want at least one big one on each of my arms, I have a huge list of ideas for my back, something near my feet would be awesome, and possibly something on my chest.

I’m quite concerned about stretch marks, since a lot of my back and stomach are covered by them. I’ve always wanted to get a wrap-around tattoo, one that comes over my hips and something right above my pubic area, but with the c-section scar and all the marks, I just don’t think it’s going to be possible. Not and still look relatively decent. Especially as I age.

But f-holes and my family one at the very least!

TO DO: Get Back to Twitter

Forgive me Internet, for I have neglected.

It has been 13 months (exactly!) since I last posted to my personal Twitter account.

Whew! I feel a little bit better. Ugh, now that that weight has been lifted off my shoulders, can I just say, I cannot wait to get back to Twitter. I don’t even know what ever happened to make me stop tweeting…

It’s that time of year where I say that I’m not going to make resolutions then go right on making them all over the place. This year however, I am not living in denial and I am just outright saying that I’m setting some resolutions. Maybe it will result in me actually accomplishing something, who knows?!?

So, my first official resolution for 2015 (and even though I’ve already given it away), drumroll please…

I am totally coming back to Twitter. January 1st, come rain or come shine, no matter what device I’m forced to use, I will be tweeting again!

Until then, be sure to follow me on Twitter and enjoy this collection of 13 of my favorite Twitter memories (for the 13 months I’ve been gone).

TO DO: YouTube…

I’ve always been on YouTube… I’ve always had a channel in one incarnation or another, I’ve always been on YouTube, but I’ve never really stayed on YouTube… And I really have always wanted that to change and over the last couple of months, that desire just keeps growing stronger and stronger. Tonight, it is nagging me very loudly…

I don’t remember when it was that I first joined YouTube, but it was a really long time ago. I initially signed up thinking I wanted to be able to easily save all the videos I was watching and loving. This was way back in the day when I watched a lot of YouTube. Then, when I realized you could upload stuff to YouTube, it didn’t take me long to jump on that bandwagon.

I’m pretty sure my first real-live video on YouTube (which I think I later deleted and only recently recovered from Facebook where I had also uploaded it) was of my then year old daughter Kaeidyn freaking out that I should play “Daddy’s Getting Married” by Bif Naked on the guitar, as I was playing it. Once she realizes, she goes crazy. This was that video:

Next, I uploaded some more guitar playing and eventually deleted my original channel and all the great videos I had amassed doing that (although it was probably only about 13). I came back a few years later with a couple more guitar covers and a few piano covers and a couple videos the kids had made or whatever and then basically just abandoned my channel.

I still have it, but havent uploaded anything to it since my cover of The White Sripes “Fell in Love with a Girl”. I had had this big plan then to come back with a regular occurence of videos and with all these ideas and then life blew up and took a crap all over itself and the idea was abandoned just like the channel.

A few months ago, The Boyfriend started talking about YouTube all the time. He is, as I’ve probably said before, a little obsessed with gaming. He always says that he needs to start making YouTube videos about games. And over the past few weeks, more and more everyday, I’m thinking about how I miss doing the YouTube thing and that I’ve never done it the way that I want to do it and I want to do it…

Now, it’s just a matter of taking the steps that go from thinking to doing, because I’ve done so darn much of the thinking that the only option left is to start some of the doing. And in the last 30 minutes alone, I’ve come up with so many concepts for things that I’d like to be doing, that I just keep saying to myself, “So, just do it…!”.

I also have all of The Erotic Writers Group stuff to consider as well, because more than getting my personal self out on YouTube, I want to get this going without a doubt. I have so many great ideas for The Erotic Writers Group on YouTube. Previously we did our group hangouts “Tuesday Topics” and to a great succes, by my awesomely low standards. And I always wanted to do more…

I have files and files of online documents dedicated to all of my great ideas for all of these great videos for all of these great enterprises (ie. Myself and The Erotic Writers Group, duh!), and I’m sick of sitting on all of it. I’m sick of letting all of these opportunities pass me by.

It’s time to just suck it up and do YouTube!

TO DO: House Rules and Family Meetings

My family is a disorganized mess! For many years, this has worked for us. During their baby and toddler years, flexibility was absolute, especially having them all so close together, being less structured made more sense – as I was deadset on raising independent, free-thinking, personality-filled little individuals. I’ll let you know right now, I succeeded, maybe almost too well…

Now, as they’re all in school and their days are taking on more structure, it’s important that we as a family start introducing some structure. However, the concept is absolutely foreign to us. More foreign than the Chinese or Swiss. Structure is just something we’re not used to, or even really desire for ourselves, but moreso need for the sake of our family and their sanity (mostly my sanity)!

I’ve talked about a lot of these issues in past posts, including the still needed routine, the once-a-month cooking, and the desire to create a household management system. But really, it’s all about building a foundation.

I like to relate to a book I read by Iyanla Vanzant. When I was at the worst part of my depression, many moons ago, I was utterly obsessed with Oprah Winfrey. And everyday before Oprah, one of her regulars had a show called Starting Over (which I desperately wanted to be on) and this is how I came to know of Iyanla Vanzant. Anyways, in this book she looks at life like a house. You have your foundation, first floor and so on and each level represents different aspects of your life, like your values, beliefs, things you were taught, etc.

Well, as my homegirl Alanis Morisette says (we’re like this *crosses fingers*), “My foundation was rocked…” – and mine definitely is. And it’s beginning to crack. Okay, enough with the pop culture references!

What we need to do, as a family, is create some basic rules and some consequences for breaking those rules. I’m talking about foundational rules. For example, my kids have a very bad habit of blatantly disrespecting me, like when I tell them to do something, they’ll get right in my face and shout no and then will sit down and do whatever they want. While I deal with these situations, it seems to be completely ineffective and I think there are a few reasons why that is.

First of all, we don’t have a hard and fast disciplinary action. Often, it changes depending on mood and time of day and season of the sun – who knows why it changes for sure, but it does. One time, it will be get sent to their room, the next time it might be lectured or put in a time-out, other times, I’ll throw my hands up in the air and walk away speechless.

Second of all, we don’t have hard and fast rules. We are rather flexible parents and the rules can often change. For example here, one day Kaeidyn wasn’t allowed to walk to the store by herself and then one day she was. Originally, the rule was no friends on the walks with her, but then she ended up running into a bunch of them on the way home (there is a park between our house and the store), and now the rule is only on the way home. So, a lot of times, the rules are in constant flux.

All of these things would be easy to deal with, in my opinion, if we had some ground rules and a regular forum for us to discuss any changes – especially as the kids all get into pre-teen and teenagehood. Especially if I ever go back to work!… Ugh!

In a Perfect World…

First, as a family, we sit down and draft up these house rules. We say to each other, “this is what we want as a family, this is how we’re going to achieve it as a family, this is how we’re going to behave along the way, and this is what happens when we don’t” – basically, in short, a vision statement.

Then, we figure out a way to display it all nice for the family to see. This way we’re constantly reminded of the rules. We’re constantly reminded of what it is we want to achieve. I want it to be pretty but also functional for us.

Finally, every couple of months, we revisit the rules and the family vision statement and see if how we’re doing things is working and what, if anything needs to be changed.

Definitely something to work on… Anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?

TO DO: Once-A-Month Cooking

One of my biggest goals is to create some sort of manageable routine that our whole family can depend on. There are many of small steps that must be taken in order to reach the top of the routine staircase and once-a-month cooking is one of those steps.

I cannot even tell you how many times a month, cooking goes on the absolute back burner in this house. As the primary cook in our household, I am really bad at my job. First of all, I love the idea and concept of cooking a lot more than I actually like to cook. Cooking kind of reminds me of doing dishes – I dread getting up to go and do it, but once I’m there I enjoy myself well enough, and once it’s over, I never want to do it again. Generally, my place is not in the kitchen!

I also wouldn’t say that I’m a skilled chef. I tend to make a lot of the same meals and any real chef will tell you I’m doing it wrong every step of the way. To this day, every single time I make a roast, anyone who wanders past my oven will gape and moan about the atrocities being committed. My Mom, to this day, every time I cook that roast will comment that she can’t believe that it’s as good as it is being that I just killed an already dead cut of beef… And my lack of skill doesn’t necessarily reflect on the taste or quality of my meals, since I’ve never had a single person (not even my sometimes picky kids) say that my food wasn’t good.

I tend towards massive limitations on the type of foods I’m willing to eat as well, which make the whole once-a-month cooking idea that much more daunting for me. In our house, I am definitely the pickiest eater. I’m not a huge fan of any fruits and the only vegetable I eat regularly is corn. I seem to really enjoy foods that come in cardboard boxes – although I think that’s more learned than it is actual enjoyment. But things like onions, mushrooms, the things you normally add for additional flavoring in freezer cooking, really turn my taste buds off. Just writing them makes me cringe a little…

However, all those negatives and excuses now being laid out, I cannot stop obsessing over the idea of being able to easily pull out a basically prepared meal from the freezer and have dinner on the table with only a tiny bit of preparing. And most definitely a lighter clean-up. It just looks and sounds like a blissful experience. What? I just have to pop this in the oven for dinner tonight? Like a pizza? It’s perfect!!

I’ve read many things about this fantasy land known as freezer cooking. They all say the same things, but I often wonder, can I really do this? Is this really me? It’s something I would like to try and at least be capable of providing a definitive answer to that last question.

TO WRITE: Something Non-Erotic and Fictional

I do write non-erotic fiction, I’m almost absolutely sure of it! For many years now my main focus has been erotic fiction and erotic non-fiction and any other writing is in the form of articles or resource pieces.

Prior to erotica, I stuck mostly to poetry – that I would then add to music and make a song out of. It’s been a really long time since I last wrote a song and I’m pretty sure my last masterpiece was an on-the-spot piece consisting of two chords and words that rhymed with “tree”, thus making this song “The Tree”. Could I tell you anything about the song now? Nope!

What I’d really like to experiment with is sci-fi/fantasy writing, but I’ve often found that I struggle intensly with it. Especially being that I’m not a huge fan of reading it and so far the only fantasy/sci-fi type books that I’ve gotten into (thanks to The Boyfriend) is R.A. Salvatore’s Legend of Drizzt series (seriously love this character!).

I’d also really like to try my hand at some literary humor. I tend to not even try to be funny in writing. Sarcastic sometimes or maybe darkly witty, but rarely ever outright funny. The smiles on people’s faces during reading any of my pieces would probably be more devious than one of sincere and genuine humor.

I’m kind of not sure where to start with this one. If it doesn’t involve sex or intimacy, I’m kind of lost on what to do with characters and plots. I don’t get ideas in my head about non-erotic things or non-educational things very often, so it’s kind of like fishing in the dark and seeing what I come out with.

The Boyfriend has been working on two stories, very sporadically, that I would eventually like to contribute to. I feel like I could tell the story so much more differently than him, but inspired by his original storyline, that it could be a very interesting thing to do. However, he would totally have to finish one of them for me to do that with 😉