When I Grow Up… I Want to Be a Sex Therapist

Since the first time my Mom sat me down to have “the talk”, I’ve been curiously fascinated by sex and sexuality. At 6 years old, I was desperate to know where babies came from and why people were having sex. I bugged and bugged until finally she caved. The conversation that followed was surprisingly scientific and I can still see the almost perfect sketch of a uterus and fallopian tubes that my Mom drew out for me.

As I got older and sex became more and more relevant in my life, my obsession grew stronger and stronger and by 16, I was doing everything I could to learn as much as I could about sex, sexuality, gender and especially BDSM and fetishes.

Around the time I turned 18, I was hanging out with a lot of people who had clearly never paid attention during sex ed. And as the most educated person about sex in the group, I was often sought after for advice or opinions about the normality of things. I realized that there had to be a sex therapist out there doing something like this.

In my town, not one. In my province, only 3 that I know of. And compared to the states, in terms of actually registered sex therapists, Canada is lagging pretty far behind. Now maybe it’s because Canadians aren’t seriously seeking sex therapy, or maybe it’s the opposite and Canadians aren’t seeking sex therapy because they don’t it exists. Who knows for sure, but either way, When I Grow Up…, I’d love to be a sex therapist.

The idea of not only truly understanding (as much as a person can anyways) sex and sexuality and then getting to share that understanding with others is seriously utopic to me. I think I’d make a banging sex therapist too! Like Laura Berman but sexier (and smarter!), like Dr. Gloria Brame but Canadian, like Annie Sprinkles, but again, Canadian. So many people that I call idols could be listed here – really, it’s a lot!

I also think I tend to do a lot of unofficial sex therapy-ing in my personal life with the people I surround myself with. And the things that people will tell me is incredible, because they know that when it comes to sex and sexuality, I’m as open-minded as they come. I’m also genuinely intrigued and fascinated, and I think that comes across very vividly to people.

As a sex therapist, I think my greatest struggle would be not understanding the shame that people sometimes associate with sexuality, and I would constantly be fighting for sexual acceptance. I think, if I were a sex therapist, I would probably offer more than just therapy as part of my services.

I find the idea of sexual surrogacy to be of a great deal of interest to me, and I’d also want to build a sexual community that’s welcoming, vibrant, exciting and educational.

The science of sexuality is amazing to me, but what really gets me is the psychology of it. And that’s why, When I Grow Up… I Want to be a Sex Therapist.

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