TO DO: Paperwork, Phone Calls and Errands

So, for years, there has been a slew of things piling up to conspire against me – okay, really they’re not actually conspiring. It’s just things that I have put off over the years that I should and really want to absolutely get done.

For example, I still don’t have my driver’s license, even though I’ve had my learner’s license. And I only have one birth certificate for one of my kids… So, let’s go through the list of all the paperwork, phone calls and errands that I really should get done…

  1. Get My Driver’s License

    I obviously just told you about this, but seriously… I think it’s ridiculous that I’m almost 28 and will have to start back at the beginning of the graduated licensing system, when I would’ve just had to have taken that road test when I was 16 to have my full driver’s license now.

    What holds me back from getting it? Fear mostly. Fear because I haven’t taken a test in a really long time, fear because it’s been a long time since I really drove… Who knows for sure.

  2. Get a Library Card

    I used to have a library card, I think. And I’m pretty sure I owe money on it, I think. It’s hard to remember because it was when we first moved here, I think and we’ve moved a lot since then. I need to at least pick up the phone and find out one way or another.

    I really want a library card though. I want to be able to read more than just what I have on my bookshelf (which is currently almost all stuff that I’ve read or have no interest in reading), plus our library hosts a ton of really awesome events and I could just see me going to them if I had a reason other than the event to go to the library.

  3. Make Doctor’s Appointments

    This is kind of a multi-step to-do, which is exactly why it hasn’t been done and keeps getting pushed so far to the backburner. First, we need to get our medical situation sorted out. Since The Boyfriend and I are now claiming common-law, all of that stuff has changed and neither of us has really taken the time to find out how exactly…

    Then, we haven’t been to see our family doctor since Carter was first born. Does that still mean that we can go see him? I’m not sure… But anyways, have you ever tried to book an appointment that includes a PAP smear for 5 people at a time (now 6)…? It’s epic work! That also involves me knowing exactly when The Boyfriend has off and generally I tend to rely on his reminders the night before.

    Finally, we need the whole work up. We all need to get just regular ole physicals, then we all need to see an eye doctor (especially The Boyfriend who is virtually blind without glasses) and finally, we all need to go to the dentist. That’s basically 15 different things to worry about right there!! That doesn’t include the paperwork, potential costs, nothing…

    It’s very daunting!!!

  4. Get Birth Certificates

    This one needs to be done by the time the kids go back to school, so it’s probably the only one that I’m pressuring to get done like yesterday. We’ve got Carter’s birth certificate, which I have to find a safer place for and now we need to work on getting the three older kids theirs.

    This one just mostly involves taking the long walk or bus ride to the place and putting in the purchase. Plus, it’s going to cost a pretty penny…

  5. Start a Savings Account

    Now that The Boyfriend has gotten his promotion and we’re getting more into the swing of how our monthly income is now going to work, it would really be nice to start some sort of savings system.

    This one is mostly about researching our options and then choosing what’s going to work best for us and then experimenting until we get it right. But it would be nice to have a plan going into the whole experience of saving money.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, although I’m sure that I’m forgetting at least three other things, which I’m sure will come to me. All of this would be so much easier if I just had a routine

Well stay tuned for updates about this particular goal and maybe in the next year or two, I’ll be driving and reading at the library 😉

Advertisements

When I Grow Up… I Want to Be a Sex Therapist

Since the first time my Mom sat me down to have “the talk”, I’ve been curiously fascinated by sex and sexuality. At 6 years old, I was desperate to know where babies came from and why people were having sex. I bugged and bugged until finally she caved. The conversation that followed was surprisingly scientific and I can still see the almost perfect sketch of a uterus and fallopian tubes that my Mom drew out for me.

As I got older and sex became more and more relevant in my life, my obsession grew stronger and stronger and by 16, I was doing everything I could to learn as much as I could about sex, sexuality, gender and especially BDSM and fetishes.

Around the time I turned 18, I was hanging out with a lot of people who had clearly never paid attention during sex ed. And as the most educated person about sex in the group, I was often sought after for advice or opinions about the normality of things. I realized that there had to be a sex therapist out there doing something like this.

In my town, not one. In my province, only 3 that I know of. And compared to the states, in terms of actually registered sex therapists, Canada is lagging pretty far behind. Now maybe it’s because Canadians aren’t seriously seeking sex therapy, or maybe it’s the opposite and Canadians aren’t seeking sex therapy because they don’t it exists. Who knows for sure, but either way, When I Grow Up…, I’d love to be a sex therapist.

The idea of not only truly understanding (as much as a person can anyways) sex and sexuality and then getting to share that understanding with others is seriously utopic to me. I think I’d make a banging sex therapist too! Like Laura Berman but sexier (and smarter!), like Dr. Gloria Brame but Canadian, like Annie Sprinkles, but again, Canadian. So many people that I call idols could be listed here – really, it’s a lot!

I also think I tend to do a lot of unofficial sex therapy-ing in my personal life with the people I surround myself with. And the things that people will tell me is incredible, because they know that when it comes to sex and sexuality, I’m as open-minded as they come. I’m also genuinely intrigued and fascinated, and I think that comes across very vividly to people.

As a sex therapist, I think my greatest struggle would be not understanding the shame that people sometimes associate with sexuality, and I would constantly be fighting for sexual acceptance. I think, if I were a sex therapist, I would probably offer more than just therapy as part of my services.

I find the idea of sexual surrogacy to be of a great deal of interest to me, and I’d also want to build a sexual community that’s welcoming, vibrant, exciting and educational.

The science of sexuality is amazing to me, but what really gets me is the psychology of it. And that’s why, When I Grow Up… I Want to be a Sex Therapist.

TO WRITE: Finish The Brighton Tales

A few years back, after reading The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice writing as A.N. Roquelaure, I was suddenly very inspired to write a story that it seemed I had been waiting my whole life to write.

The characters became vivid personalities in my mind and the plot spurted out without any force at all. I clearly saw the Kingdom of Brighton in all her glory and quickly knew that this was a tale of duty, honor, sacrifice, dominance, submission and most importantly, sex.

I sat in front of my computer and in 3 days had easily hashed out thousands of words on this story that nagged me with urgency. I remember complaining often that my hands hurt from typing so much so fast and the whole time The Boyfriend was commenting jealously, as his own story that he had imagined his whole life, sat untouched for weeks.

After this 3 day explosion of writing, I re-read what I wrote. And I realized that this was definitely the pre-first draft version. But I needed to get it down, get it out and it’s been an amazing framework to build off of. However, I’ve only been building ever since and I get stuck right around the same part every single time and therefore, The Brighton Tales is no closer to the end than it was when it began.

More and more everyday, I hear the characters that I’ve already written and the ones that I haven’t put to paper, calling me to finish their story. I have visions of the beautiful kingdom, the castle dungeon and the way of these people from another time, another place and how they lived their lives and the legacies they left behind. My thoughts are immersed in and consumed by The Brighton Tales.

And this is the reason why I MUST finish writing this story.

I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to do it just yet. I’m experimenting with a few different options at the moment. I have some notes going in Google Drive, of course. This is where I tend to just slap my thoughts as they come along. Then, to organize that, I’m using LitLift, sorta. I was using it a lot and then it slowly started being used less often. I look at it pretty often…

My main focus is just to continue to write what I visualize and eventually it’ll all come together. I tend to get lost in doing things like character sheets or thinking about how I’m going to make it even better writing. But really, I just need to finish the story! Stop trying to force perfection and just let it happen naturally.

You can see that pre-first draft version here on the old Rantings. Just remember that it’s just a framework! And you can always follow My Writing & Erotica to stay updated on how The Brighton Tales is coming along.

TO DO: Create and Follow a Routine

One of the greatest problems I’ve faced over my lifetime is sticking to any type of routine. For the most part, I’ve managed okay with the lack of routine, although there are times when I seriously question how okay I’m actually managing.

It’s long been a goal of mine to create a manageable routine and follow it enough that I feel the effects of it, as I’ve been told magical stories about circadian rhythms and been instructed on the benefits of habit.

I often hit a variety of stumbling blocks, which stand in the way of ever sticking to routines. First off is the kids. Kids are very unpredictable and you have to have some flexibility when working with routines. I also have four of them, plus a man that often acts a little bit like a kid, so there are five people to consider when making routines.

Then there’s the fact that I’m a stay-at-home mom. The only reason I have to get up in the morning is to get the kids off to school. I am also a procrastinator and a perfectionist, one of the most horrible mix of qualities I’ve ever encountered.

Finally, when I envision my ideal routine, it includes steady waking and sleeping hours. However, that doesn’t always work out since The Boyfriend often works varying hours and we go to sleep together. It also gets in the way because I sometimes suffer from insomnia, although not nearly as bad now as it used to be.

In a Perfect World…

If we lived in a perfect world my routine would consist of an early morning wake up and workout. During the morning hours, I would clean my house from top to bottom including a load of laundry every single day. During the afternoon, I would focus on all my online work, spending no more than 4 hours on it.

Once the kids returned home from school, I’d love to spend more time with them. At the moment, this time feels rushed and uncontrolled. We hurry to make and eat dinner, we sometimes forget to check for homework and by the time the kids go to bed, stress levels are through the roof for everyone.

I’d like for this time to have dedicated space for homework, then making dinner together as a family and eating it as such, and a nighttime routine that helps the kids relax and unwind as well as prepare for the day ahead.

Finally, I’d like to have a bedtime routine for myself. Ideally it would include at least an hour of reading, time enough for snuggling and a regular falling asleep time.

Over time, you’ll see updates on this post as I attempt to reach my goal, so stay tuned!